by
Kathryn Page Camp
Dialogue can be tricky. First,
there is the problem of how much or how little to use, which may depend on
genre. An action novel usually has less dialogue than a love story. But in
neither case should the conversation be true-to-life. The reader doesn’t want
to hear the small talk that occurs around the breakfast table—unless that small
talk betrays the protagonist’s anxiety or has some other link to the story. The
same is true for the uhs and ahs of normal conversation—leave them out unless they
show the speaker’s hesitancy to answer a key question.
But this blog post isn’t about
those issues. Instead, it will concentrate on the question that troubles most
writers much of the time: How do I make sure my readers know who is talking
without interrupting the story’s flow?
Most writers default to using dialogue
tags. Some writers are horrified at the very idea. Oh no, never! In their view,
dialogue tags were created by the devil. But if you read their own works, you’ll
be surprised at the number of dialogue tags that creep in. Still, since
dialogue tags should be the last resort, I’ll address them at the end.
Action
Action can be a good way to show
who is speaking, although that should never be its sole purpose. When used
correctly, action has the added benefit of providing information about the
speaker or the setting. Consider these two examples:
Bob slammed his
fist on the table. “He’s a liar.” (Showing that Bob is angry as well as
attributing the statement to him.)
“I can’t lend you
any money.” Mavis flung her mink stole across a Chippendale chair, barely
missing the Ming vase on the stand next to it. “I’ll be going to the poor house
soon, myself.” (Showing that Mavis lives a life contrary to her words.)—Okay,
that one is probably over the top, but you get the picture.
The action must fit, however.
Characters can only drink so many cups of coffee during a five-minute
conversation, and even one may be too many. I’m guilty of this, but at least I
know it. Some writers seem to think that any action is fine as long as the
speaker is doing it. For example:
Tom buttered his
toast. “I got fired from my job yesterday.”
If the only reason an action is
inserted is to identify the speaker, it will sound that way. Find another way
to show who is speaking.
Using Names
The use of names in dialogue can identify
the speaker by process of elimination. If John and Mary meet on the street,
which character is talking here?
“How did the
meeting go, John?”
Obviously, Mary must be speaking.
But this technique can be misused, too. In real life, we seldom say another
person’s name when talking directly to them. Once she had John’s attention, Mary
would simply ask, “How did the meeting go?” So don’t use the name of the person
being addressed unless it sounds natural.
Two-People
Conversations
If you have only two people in a
conversation, you may not need attributions once you have identified the first
speaker. Consider this:
Mary took Dan’s
coat and hung it in the closet. “How was your day?”
“Boring, as usual.
I wish I could quit, but we need the money.”
“Well, dinner
should cheer you up. I made your favorite meal.”
“Spaghetti?”
“Yes.”
This conversation is as boring as
Dan’s job, but at least the reader can follow it. If it went on for any longer,
however, we would need an occasional attribution to remind readers who is
speaking. Action works well for attribution here because it also adds more life
to the scene. (In this particular example, you might also want to ask whether
you need it at all, but it gets my point across.)
Unique Voices
Sometimes you can tell who is speaking
just by how they speak or what they say. Teenagers talk differently than their
parents, so in a three-way conversation you may only need to include
attributions for the parents. Or if Karl has recently emigrated from Germany,
we know that he is the one talking when we hear this:
“I can the
question not answer.”
No attribution is necessary.
Dialogue Tags
Although writers should avoid
dialogue tags when we can, sometimes we do need them. Even so, they shouldn’t
be too obvious. “Karen articulated,” “David exclaimed,” and “she cautioned” all
make the reader stumble over the story. With rare exceptions, stick to “said”
and “asked,” which tend to disappear on the page. (Unless you are looking for
them because you are counting up the number of times they are used by a writer who
disparages dialogue tags.)
The rare exception I recognize is
where a particular dialogue tag is the most effective way of conveying a
message, such as using “she whispered” to show that the character doesn’t want
to be heard. Even so, it is better to have your character simply gasp than to
have her gasp out her words. And if your character is lying, let the reader
figure it out from the context rather than saying “she lied.”
Experiment with different ways to
attribute dialogue to your characters. But if nothing else feels natural, there
is nothing wrong with “said” and “asked.” Even the best writers use those words
at time.
Just count them up.
__________
Kathryn Page Camp is a licensed
attorney and full-time writer. Writers in
Wonderland: Keeping Your Words Legal was a Kirkus’ Indie Books of the Month Selection for April 2014. The
second edition of Kathryn’s first book, In
God We Trust: How the Supreme Court’s First Amendment Decisions Affect
Organized Religion, was released
on September 30, 2015. You can learn more about Kathryn at
www.kathrynpagecamp.com.
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